so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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