***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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