Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize