I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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