he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
