god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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