So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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