Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize