the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
