It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
