The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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