Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
