my sisters under your porch take her home
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
