Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
