worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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