She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
A bitchslap is in order.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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