I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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