she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize