I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
