I forgot how hot balto sounded
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
