Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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