Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize
