Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
