I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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