dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
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Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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