if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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