Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
