shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
