what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The struggles of a small town man whore
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
