Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
