When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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