youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
