Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
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you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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