Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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