In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
