Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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