She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
