the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
