it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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