o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
