There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
