I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
