Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
