they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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