It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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