It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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