I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize