You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
