I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
