I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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