maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize