I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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