i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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