My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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