butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.